Closed Captioned For The Thinking Impaired

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Ode to Cricket Cola: It's The Real Thing!


WHERE have I been for the past few years?

WHY is Tuesday the first time I have ever tried this modern marvel?

WHEN was this green (in every way, literally & figuratively) soda put on this planet?

Simply put, I (HEART) Cricket Cola.

WHAT e=mc2 type came up with this modern reinvention of the nasty dusty old wheel that is today's carbonated beverage?

WHO cares?

I do and so should you. Run, don't walk, to your nearest Real Foods & buy some! Or order it at Pacific's Catch on Chestnut St. for lunch like I did. SOON.

Try it!
You'll like it!

Have another look:

What a formula for deliciousness!!!
Genius, pure, genius.

The makers of this new elixir are very much on the Q.T.
All we know for certain is that they started this cola revolution in San Francisco & D.C.

Do they wear funny helmets, swing flat bats and run back & forth endlessly between wickets to score points? No wonder they won't post any information (or thankfully any pictures) about themselves on their website!

Or.... are they really giant Gryllidae who have come here by way of the eighth dimension released from inter-dimensional captivity by a massive collision involving Mount Tam and a Jet Car equipped with Buckeroo Bonzai's volatile oscillation overthruster? If so, watch out, they may take over the world!

If they do, I won't care as long as they keep producing this beneficent beverage (provided, of course, no insects were harmed in the making of it) which as their website modestly claims:

What more can you ask for?

Oh, BTW, Congrats to San Francisco for having the safest tap water in the country!!!

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