Closed Captioned For The Thinking Impaired

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Is This The Way to Celebrate The New Year ?

Yes, New Year's Eve is coming up and you, being the saavy person you are, decide to leave the rabble-rousing in public to the amateurs in order to host your own small gathering of friends and family who will very likely spend the entire evening chez you.

You want to reward these faithful friends with delicious food & drink and decide to turn to the award-winning food & wine section of your local paper, The San Francisco Chronicle (if you happen to live in San Francisco) for ideas on quick and easy to make hors d'oeuvres for the party. What do these avatars of all that is bacchanalian suggest for your farewell to the past year celebration????? The Chex Party Mix.....WHAAAATTT???? Click here to read it yourself.

Lynne Char Bennett, the author of this atrocity, described it as fun and iconic. She went further and attributed this disgusting concoction of Cheerios, Rice Chex and bacon grease to longtime food editor and critic, Michael Bauer's sainted mother who served this for many years which, according to the article, he has spent the last 30 years tweaking to perfection. Sure, Mike! Now tell me why you bothered. This is a man who lambastes chefs, restaurants and restauranteurs when he doesn't like the design of their forks, the shape of their plates or the color scheme of their banquettes and he serves his guests warm bacon grease and Cheerios for New Years Eve? Way to add to your credibility as a gourmand and critic of professional hospitality, dude!!!

Look, I'm not snarking because I have anything against retro, homey offerings that make it easy for the busy person to throw something together at the last minute to host their party. Not everyone likes or can afford to feed a crowd beluga and blinis.

I'm not doing it because I dislike the author; as a matter of fact, I usually enjoy reading her food articles and recipes. BUT, when a recipe is composed of breakfast cereal, bacon grease and tabasco sauce AND takes 2 HOURS, yes 2 long hours in attendance in order to stir that muck up EVERY 20 MINUTES so you don't burn the house down with that volatile mix then you are not delivering on a tacit promise to your readers: making something delicious, simple, quick and appropriate for the occasion. Really poorly done on the part of the Chronicle's food staff.

They would have better served their public by publishing recipes from earlier this year if they didn't feel like going to the trouble of coming up with something more appropriate for the occasion!

They could also have come up with something quicker like wasabi peas and pretzel nuggets mixed with California nuts and dried fruit as a party mix if they wanted to go that route. Takes less than two minutes to mix & throw into pretty bowls and satisfies all the sweet, salty, spicy criteria of theirs without all the time, effort and preservatives of that ridiculous "recipe"!!!

Had to vent! I really felt outraged by that article. Feeling better now!!! Thanks & Happy Party Planning!

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